A Reluctant Transformation

It started at birth.

Pushed from one world

into a new world.

I didn't ask for this.

Womb, take me back

to your quiet serenity.

Hold me in innocence.

I can't breathe this air.

Where's the water?

Where's the escape?

Screaming

Crying

Caught

in the pain

between two worlds.

Reluctant to let go.

Resisting arrival.

Pretending

that I haven't already arrived.

The Mother's vibrations

meet me

in the in-between.

"I've waited for you

with patient anticipation.

Knowing the pain

of transformation.

Knowing the beauty

of your possibilities.

"Knowing your heart

will grow

and race

and love

and break

and love anyway

and finally stop.

"And the beauty!

Did I mention the beauty

of this world?

The beauty

of your presence

here.

"Even in your pain.

Even in your fear.

"This blinding light

will be your closest friend

one day.

But don't

forsake the darkness.

Remember

the darkness is your heritage.

And is always

always

resting

behind the corner of certainty.

And is available

always

available

to bear witness

to the dimension of truth.

"Fear not, My Child,

for I am with you

in this dark hour

and in the many

yet to come."

The Mother's vibrations fade

into heartbeats

into breaths

into a new serenity.

In the stillness

I find myself

breathed by this air.

I find myself held

by many hands indeed.

I find myself

reluctantly transformed

anyway.

Happy reluctant transformation anniversary.

I'm sorry,

please forgive me,

thank you,

I love you.