A Reluctant Transformation
It started at birth.
Pushed from one world
into a new world.
I didn't ask for this.
Womb, take me back
to your quiet serenity.
Hold me in innocence.
I can't breathe this air.
Where's the water?
Where's the escape?
Screaming
Crying
Caught
in the pain
between two worlds.
Reluctant to let go.
Resisting arrival.
Pretending
that I haven't already arrived.
The Mother's vibrations
meet me
in the in-between.
"I've waited for you
with patient anticipation.
Knowing the pain
of transformation.
Knowing the beauty
of your possibilities.
"Knowing your heart
will grow
and race
and love
and break
and love anyway
and finally stop.
"And the beauty!
Did I mention the beauty
of this world?
The beauty
of your presence
here.
"Even in your pain.
Even in your fear.
"This blinding light
will be your closest friend
one day.
But don't
forsake the darkness.
Remember
the darkness is your heritage.
And is always
always
resting
behind the corner of certainty.
And is available
always
available
to bear witness
to the dimension of truth.
"Fear not, My Child,
for I am with you
in this dark hour
and in the many
yet to come."
The Mother's vibrations fade
into heartbeats
into breaths
into a new serenity.
In the stillness
I find myself
breathed by this air.
I find myself held
by many hands indeed.
I find myself
reluctantly transformed
anyway.

Happy reluctant transformation anniversary.
I'm sorry,
please forgive me,
thank you,
I love you.